Author Archives: ollieiselin

Blake Moyne is really annoying – I have said this over and over again but every time his Quagmire-like jaw opens up and starts spewing a positive pyroclastic flow of premonitions about his and Katie’s relationship, I pour myself a stiff drink, drink it, and then pour myself another. Blake is a seasoned campaigner, andContinue reading “Bachelorette Week 7 Recap – Katie Thurston”

One of the hilarious things about Bachelor Nation, and the reason that the whole bring-back-someone-from-a-previous-season gimmick is so farcical, is that everyone on the show knows exactly who all of the previous seasons’ contestants are – this is literally the concept of Bachelor in Paradise. So, when chunky-but-chiseled Blake shows back up looking for aContinue reading “Katie Thurston Bachelorette Episode 5 Recap”

Apologies for the lack of a blog last week – hope I can make up for it with some characteristically unimaginative analysis this go around! Let’s jump in to Monday’s episode: Katie had “two friends” helping her with the group date. Much to my disappointment, it was not the pre-release of Big Bootie 20, butContinue reading “Katie Thurston Bachelorette – Episode 4 Recap”

Anyone who has seen The Bachelorette before knew exactly what was coming in Monday night’s episode… We’re past the early pleasantries where the lady in question has to dodge awkward advances from strange men in semi-lived RVs and we’re right onto the dates and dramas that will shape the season and ultimately, Katie’s ongoing questContinue reading “Katie Thurston Bachelorette – Episode 2 Recap”

The first night of any new season in Bachelor world is bitter sweet. The bitter in this case can be traced to the trough of Aperol Spritz that is percolating balletically through my system as I write this; the sweet? Well I think we all know where that’s coming from. There is a unique nervousContinue reading “Katie Thurston Bachelorette Episode 1 Recap”