Going into someone else’s home to meet their parents is a simultaneously exhausting and terrifying process. It’s a unique mélange of wanting to appear nice and wholesome, twinged with wanting to appear cool and fun, and sprinkled with a crippling fear of potentially clogging their downstairs toilet. Rumor has it the 14th century Lord whoContinue reading “Clayton Echard Bachelor Hometowns Recap”
Category Archives: The Bachelor
Clayton Echard Bachelor Week 7 Recap
So, I didn’t watch last week’s episode, and I didn’t read any recaps – everyone knows that Bachelor blogging is a zero-sum game and I can’t be out here supporting other pathetic part-time bloggers if I’m hoping to drive ad-sales revenue that amounts to a 1 1-millionth of what some 7-year old doing the griddyContinue reading “Clayton Echard Bachelor Week 7 Recap”
Clayton Echard Week 5 Bachelor Recap
Here we are again people, back with Clayton the limp shrimp pimp on another haphazard journey of imperceptive discovery; or should I say an “international tour to find love” in Houston, Texas… Serene got the first date rose and clearly doesn’t understand how the entire show operates. She said, “no one has ever shut downContinue reading “Clayton Echard Week 5 Bachelor Recap”
Clayton Echard Bachelor Week 4 Recap
Whenever a Bachelor contestant says, “I have a really good feeling I’ll be down on one knee at the end of this,” it might as well be a dog whistle to Bachelor nation; a Ron Burgundy conch blast; a sighting of lit beacons across the mountains from Minas Tirith to prepare yourself for an impendingContinue reading “Clayton Echard Bachelor Week 4 Recap”
Clayton Echard Bachelor Episode 3 Recap
For those of you out there with elephantine memories who can remember what happened nearly THREE WEEKS ago when we were treated to our last instalment of The Bachelor (yes apologies for the late blog), the episode started as you might have expected. My previous-episode amnesia was at Jason Bourne levels on Monday night, butContinue reading “Clayton Echard Bachelor Episode 3 Recap”
Clayton Echard Bachelor Week 2 Recap
Hillary Duff gets cheap party planning Susie snags the 1-on-1 date Never have Elizabeth and Shanae EVER gotten along David vs. Goliath has always been one of my favorite Bible stories. For the non-denominational amongst you, the story chronicles a young boy with a slingshot and a stone, who knocks out an absolute man-mountain overcomingContinue reading “Clayton Echard Bachelor Week 2 Recap”
The Bachelor Episode 1 Recap – Clayton Echard
Don’t get me wrong, I love the Bachelorette. There’s just something about the Bachelor that kicks all of my tea-consuming, drama-adoring, histrionic-hounding, and yes, blog-writing senses into Mach-10 overdrive. This partiality is quite staggering given the two soporific snooze-fests we were subjected to with Colton and Peter’s seasons, and then the hand-warming Houdini himself, MattContinue reading “The Bachelor Episode 1 Recap – Clayton Echard”
Fantasy Suites Recap – Matt James
I don’t really like to ever consider the possibility that my Bachelor-watching days could come to an end; but if by some divinely ordained twist of fate (children/Bourne-style amnesia/Monday night softball league/Amish conversion) I do ever stop watching, you can be damn well sure that I will still tune in for Fantasy Suites just toContinue reading “Fantasy Suites Recap – Matt James”
Bachelor Hometowns Recap – Matt James
Apologies for the tardiness of this blog – If I told you that I was trying to re-enact some of Matt James’s most advanced floor workout routines and, after a particularly aggressive upward swing of the knee during a mountain-climber, managed to knock my front two teeth out and concuss myself, then you might notContinue reading “Bachelor Hometowns Recap – Matt James”
The Bachelor Week 7 Recap – Matt James
Matt is a strange and confusing guy. He wears pants that are consistently 3 inches two short at the bottom; he has these creepy physical tics, such as licking his lips when talking to the girls 1-on-1 and rubbing his hands together like he’s about to sell a rug at a 23x markup to aContinue reading “The Bachelor Week 7 Recap – Matt James”
Ollie's Bachelor Recaps 