Going into someone else’s home to meet their parents is a simultaneously exhausting and terrifying process. It’s a unique mélange of wanting to appear nice and wholesome, twinged with wanting to appear cool and fun, and sprinkled with a crippling fear of potentially clogging their downstairs toilet. Rumor has it the 14th century Lord whoContinue reading “Clayton Echard Bachelor Hometowns Recap”
Tag Archives: ABC
Clayton Echard Bachelor Week 7 Recap
So, I didn’t watch last week’s episode, and I didn’t read any recaps – everyone knows that Bachelor blogging is a zero-sum game and I can’t be out here supporting other pathetic part-time bloggers if I’m hoping to drive ad-sales revenue that amounts to a 1 1-millionth of what some 7-year old doing the griddyContinue reading “Clayton Echard Bachelor Week 7 Recap”
Clayton Echard Week 5 Bachelor Recap
Here we are again people, back with Clayton the limp shrimp pimp on another haphazard journey of imperceptive discovery; or should I say an “international tour to find love” in Houston, Texas… Serene got the first date rose and clearly doesn’t understand how the entire show operates. She said, “no one has ever shut downContinue reading “Clayton Echard Week 5 Bachelor Recap”
Clayton Echard Bachelor Week 4 Recap
Whenever a Bachelor contestant says, “I have a really good feeling I’ll be down on one knee at the end of this,” it might as well be a dog whistle to Bachelor nation; a Ron Burgundy conch blast; a sighting of lit beacons across the mountains from Minas Tirith to prepare yourself for an impendingContinue reading “Clayton Echard Bachelor Week 4 Recap”
Clayton Echard Bachelor Episode 3 Recap
For those of you out there with elephantine memories who can remember what happened nearly THREE WEEKS ago when we were treated to our last instalment of The Bachelor (yes apologies for the late blog), the episode started as you might have expected. My previous-episode amnesia was at Jason Bourne levels on Monday night, butContinue reading “Clayton Echard Bachelor Episode 3 Recap”
Clayton Echard Bachelor Week 2 Recap
Hillary Duff gets cheap party planning Susie snags the 1-on-1 date Never have Elizabeth and Shanae EVER gotten along David vs. Goliath has always been one of my favorite Bible stories. For the non-denominational amongst you, the story chronicles a young boy with a slingshot and a stone, who knocks out an absolute man-mountain overcomingContinue reading “Clayton Echard Bachelor Week 2 Recap”
The Bachelorette – Michelle Young Season 18 Preview
Well, well, well… it’s that time of year again. The leaves are changing, the turtlenecks are starting to peer ever more expectantly out of the back of the closet, and the squalid stench of Bachelor in Paradise that has been wafting so ignominiously over our airwaves for the past several months has been shunted asideContinue reading “The Bachelorette – Michelle Young Season 18 Preview”
Bachelorette Season Preview – Katie Thurston
Well well well… it’s summer time, and the living is easy. Much has changed since you were last subjected to my meandering musings and unabashed overreliance on Harry Potter references to drive home mediocre Bachelor analysis! In the United States at least, everyone you would want to interact with has received a vaccine, and theContinue reading “Bachelorette Season Preview – Katie Thurston”
Bachelor Finale Part 2
Discussing The Bachelor with a peripheral or non-fan (I know, they exist?) is the Excalibur of double edged swords. On the one hand, I find myself getting frustrated that these nescients aren’t versed in elementary Bachelor history and haven’t been bullying Reddit-derived fan conspiracies into their skulls all season. On the other, these people canContinue reading “Bachelor Finale Part 2”
Bachelor Finale – Part 1
The niceties and nuances of the market economy are phenomena that I understand to about a 3rd grade level; and that’s generous. Seeing as the only invisible hand that the vast majority of middle schooler’s know is the one that cleans their dishes while they watch The Suite Life of Zack and Cody after dinner;Continue reading “Bachelor Finale – Part 1”
Ollie's Bachelor Recaps 