Clayton Echard Bachelor Week 2 Recap

Hillary Duff gets cheap party planning Susie snags the 1-on-1 date Never have Elizabeth and Shanae EVER gotten along David vs. Goliath has always been one of my favorite Bible stories. For the non-denominational amongst you, the story chronicles a young boy with a slingshot and a stone, who knocks out an absolute man-mountain overcomingContinue reading “Clayton Echard Bachelor Week 2 Recap”

The Bachelor Episode 1 Recap – Clayton Echard

Don’t get me wrong, I love the Bachelorette. There’s just something about the Bachelor that kicks all of my tea-consuming, drama-adoring, histrionic-hounding, and yes, blog-writing senses into Mach-10 overdrive. This partiality is quite staggering given the two soporific snooze-fests we were subjected to with Colton and Peter’s seasons, and then the hand-warming Houdini himself, MattContinue reading “The Bachelor Episode 1 Recap – Clayton Echard”

Michelle Young Bachelorette Week 1 Recap

It’s here. We’re back in business people with another season of the Bachelorette. I surely cannot be alone in thanking the fucking lord that we don’t have to watch this season’s empty vessels crit their way around some non-descript, middle-of-nowhere resort with an uppity marketing manager who finally used their Bachelor addiction for use andContinue reading “Michelle Young Bachelorette Week 1 Recap”

The Bachelorette – Michelle Young Season 18 Preview

Well, well, well… it’s that time of year again. The leaves are changing, the turtlenecks are starting to peer ever more expectantly out of the back of the closet, and the squalid stench of Bachelor in Paradise that has been wafting so ignominiously over our airwaves for the past several months has been shunted asideContinue reading “The Bachelorette – Michelle Young Season 18 Preview”

Bachelorette Hometowns Recap – Katie Thurston

It seems like this season has gone by like a flash in the pan. How are we at hometowns already, and by the time you’re reading this, you’ll probably be settling in for an afternoon of fan-theories in anticipation of the finale (apologies again for the interesting cadence of blogs this season – I willContinue reading “Bachelorette Hometowns Recap – Katie Thurston”

Bachelorette Week 7 Recap – Katie Thurston

Blake Moyne is really annoying – I have said this over and over again but every time his Quagmire-like jaw opens up and starts spewing a positive pyroclastic flow of premonitions about his and Katie’s relationship, I pour myself a stiff drink, drink it, and then pour myself another. Blake is a seasoned campaigner, andContinue reading “Bachelorette Week 7 Recap – Katie Thurston”

Katie Thurston Bachelorette Episode 5 Recap

One of the hilarious things about Bachelor Nation, and the reason that the whole bring-back-someone-from-a-previous-season gimmick is so farcical, is that everyone on the show knows exactly who all of the previous seasons’ contestants are – this is literally the concept of Bachelor in Paradise. So, when chunky-but-chiseled Blake shows back up looking for aContinue reading “Katie Thurston Bachelorette Episode 5 Recap”

Katie Thurston Bachelorette – Episode 4 Recap

Apologies for the lack of a blog last week – hope I can make up for it with some characteristically unimaginative analysis this go around! Let’s jump in to Monday’s episode: Katie had “two friends” helping her with the group date. Much to my disappointment, it was not the pre-release of Big Bootie 20, butContinue reading “Katie Thurston Bachelorette – Episode 4 Recap”

Katie Thurston Bachelorette – Episode 2 Recap

Anyone who has seen The Bachelorette before knew exactly what was coming in Monday night’s episode… We’re past the early pleasantries where the lady in question has to dodge awkward advances from strange men in semi-lived RVs and we’re right onto the dates and dramas that will shape the season and ultimately, Katie’s ongoing questContinue reading “Katie Thurston Bachelorette – Episode 2 Recap”

Katie Thurston Bachelorette Episode 1 Recap

The first night of any new season in Bachelor world is bitter sweet. The bitter in this case can be traced to the trough of Aperol Spritz that is percolating balletically through my system as I write this; the sweet? Well I think we all know where that’s coming from. There is a unique nervousContinue reading “Katie Thurston Bachelorette Episode 1 Recap”