The Bachelor bears a number of startling similarities to the Coronavirus (bet you weren’t expecting that one!) They both got fairly slow starts this winter, but by the time they’re all said and done, expect 80% of the US population to be affected by their residual consequences; both the Coronavirus response and The Bachelor areContinue reading “Women Tell All Recap”
Category Archives: The Bachelor
Women Tell All Preview
It’s been a very big week for people named Pete Weber. Our Peter, of Pilot, facial puncture, and poor judgement fame managed to screw up his future prospects with the girl of his dreams because he couldn’t keep it in his pants for two nights in Australia when Madison specifically asked him to. The otherContinue reading “Women Tell All Preview”
Week 8 Fantasy Suites Recap
When William Shakespeare wrote that “all the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players,” he was probably not anticipating that this stage would include the Camarillo Air Strip in Southern California, and the most prominent players would be promiscuous Pete and his band of tenderfoot matrimonial minions. What would he sayContinue reading “Week 8 Fantasy Suites Recap”
Bachelor Week 8 Preview Fantasy Suites
One of my most loyal and fervent readers asked me earlier this week if I had ever experienced writer’s block in the production of this here blog. My response was measured, but the sentiments behind it were impassioned and heart-felt: “Do you think Michelangelo had painter’s block whilst painting the Sistine Chapel? Do you thinkContinue reading “Bachelor Week 8 Preview Fantasy Suites”
Bachelor Week 7 Recap Hometowns
I don’t know what I want out of this season, I really don’t. It’s been quite the roller coaster ride and not the kind that ends with an awfully convenient and contrived Chase Rice concert in suburban Cleveland! Part of me is hoping for a little Deus ex Machina action where Hannah B comes stormingContinue reading “Bachelor Week 7 Recap Hometowns”
Bachelor Week 6 Recap
It’s been a good couple of days of television. On Saturday, the XFL, another doomed to fail spin-off of the NFL, aired its first games; on Sunday night, the American public was treated to the most endearing and potentially dangerous Oscars side-show in history: “How fucked up can Bong Joon-ho get at this after party;”Continue reading “Bachelor Week 6 Recap”
Bachelor Week 5 Recap (2)
I haven’t been having the best of weeks… Monday’s episode of The Bachelor made me lose a measure of faith in what was a truly hideous portrayal of humanity; Tuesday’s State of the Union only compounded this feeling of malaise; and late Tuesday night it was confirmed that Mookie Betts was traded from my belovedContinue reading “Bachelor Week 5 Recap (2)”
Bachelor Week 5 Recap (Part 1)
The Bachelor really caught the short end of the stick last night coming up against perhaps the most electric prime time television competition of the year… Not the season premiere of Below Deck on Bravo as you’re probably thinking, I am of course talking about the wonderfully confusing and largely inconsequential Iowa Caucuses. While DemocraticContinue reading “Bachelor Week 5 Recap (Part 1)”
Bachelor Week 5 Preview
Nothing is a more compelling wake-up call than your parents getting you a step-counting, goal-setting, fitness watch for Christmas. This shiny little wrist wrap does a number of cool things: It tells the time worse than my phone does, it allows me to set step goals for the day and buzzes when I achieve themContinue reading “Bachelor Week 5 Preview”
Bachelor Week 4 Recap
Trying to keep up with the Bachelor whilst in New Orleans attached a whole host of existential problems to this week’s instalment of the recap… Not only are the lights of the Harrah’s casino across the road from the Westin New Orleans as devilishly appealing looking as the forbidden fruit from The Tree of theContinue reading “Bachelor Week 4 Recap”
Ollie's Bachelor Recaps 